Saturday, January 28, 2006

More Chuck Norris!

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris does not have your normal human-style, male nipples. He has a Dodge Ram hood ornament on each pec, and both rams blow smoke out of their noses each and every time he pumps Christy Brinkley.

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day.

The roundhouse kick has been proven to be more deady than kryptonite. The Death of Superman? Yeah, that was from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris, when clean-shaven, radiates the heat of three suns.

Chuck Norris is the only one ever in history to stare Medusa straight in the eyes and not be turned to stone. The result was Roseanne Bar.

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the poo out of little kids.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Chuck Norris only masterbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

In "Way of the Dragon", Bruce Lee pulls out Chuck Norris's chest hair by the roots. Bruce Lee is dead.

Chuck Norris's semen can form into a liquid human - like the guy from 'Terminator 2'"

Chuck Norris once got his wife pregnant and gave birth to a delicious 16 ounce steak. The after birth was sauteed mushrooms.

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